So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Randomize
