There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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