This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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