I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
