I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
All the doctor said was why
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
