We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
