I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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