i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
