when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
