So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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