Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
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