Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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