I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
