Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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