Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
