She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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