We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
