I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize