He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
we're so committed to being not committed
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
