You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
