If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
