at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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