When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
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