Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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