He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
