It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
