Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
