If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
