She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
