and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize