My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
