Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
