He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
