i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
