i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
