I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
