Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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