so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
