Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
