Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
