Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
