thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
