All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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