i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
She's the barista slut.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
