Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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