could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
