In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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