I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
