they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
