I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
