I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
