So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
