The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize
