My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
