just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
