Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Did you pee in the oven last night??
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
